Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dirt Track Demo Cross and Firearms Spectacular

On the weekend of November 3, a small group of individuals was reportedly spotted in Eastern NC engaging in a plethora of activities ranging from marginally rude all the way to extremely offensive to the environment and society in general. While the reports remain vague and unconfirmed, some details about the events that occurred in that corn field have surfaced…..

Weird Al's 1st Annual Dirt Track Demo Cross and Firearms Spectacular!

The participants came from all walks of life, although they were homogenous in a deep appreciation for fire, alcoholic beverages, dented body panels, and violence. Each brought his own talent to the field, whether it be driver's skill, artistic ability, or just ammunition. All brought something to drink.

The event began unenthusiastically, with the Beertech crew arriving first, unable to pinpoint the exact destination, due mainly to the fact that they were in the middle of nowhere, and everything looked pretty much the same. Once their target location was discovered, the quickly went to work implementing a bold plan to create the single most fearsome BMW 320is ever to exist. Thanks to the artistic vision of one recovering weird M-Coupe guy, the 320 quickly became the centerpiece of the event, and a symbol for the lengths at which all the participants would go to have a good time. At 10:15am the first alcoholic beverage was served, and subsequently enjoyed.

The other vehicular participants arrived, and soon after, the Saab was already on its side. There are conflicting reports as to the cause of this incident, but all evidence points to driver error. The Beereck 320 and Weird Al's Audi both ran flawlessly.

At approximately 12:32pm, the firearms were unsheathed, and a defacto state of war resulted. No metal duck was safe; no clay pigeon flew without at least 3 eager shotgunners attempting to take it down. Unfortunately, sometime during the hostilities, the Beereck 320 received two grievous gunshot wounds. There was no driver or passengers in the car at the time.

Once the firing slowed down, the serious racing commenced. The pile of empties was getting large, but reinforcements had arrived with more provisions. The DemoCross was a violent affair, lacking any formal rules or regulations, and the track was challenging, especially with spectators hurling objects at the participants. The racing continued late into the evening, fueled by delicious grilled chicken, innocent deer, and more booze. The cars became battered and bruise, and most kept on running. Bump drafting was encouraged, and in the pits, love taps ruled. The S10 Blazer crapped out early, and was subsequently the victim of a wiring problem and engulfed in flames.

The winners of the actual racing are yet to be determined, although only two vehicles left the field that day: Weird Al's Audi and the Beereck 320. All of the participants are anxious, and ready for Big Al's Dirt Track Demo Cross and Firearms Spectacular…….2008!

Please take a moment to enjoy the artistic vision of Scott M's video:

Pictures to follow.